I came to the conclusion today, that I'm really happy! A fact that was backed up by lovely son no1, who came into youngest's bedroom asking me how I was, 'because you seem really happy'!!! I was chuffed to bits, and then worried that I must be bloomin miserable the rest of the time for him to notice!!!
Now, without going into too much boring detail to the whys and where fors, it came to me that accepting what I am (round and messy!!!!!) has enabled me to see what is and isn't important, and that's been soooo freeing. I've been so busy looking at the best bits of everyone else and comparing them with the worst bits of me that I haven't left time to enjoy living. What a first class idiot!!!
So yes, my house is 'lived in' with some areas that look like the back room of a charity shop. And yes, my fridge looked like it had been used for a scientific experiment until yesterday! If my stairs are clear, it's because the washing is stuffed in the utility room, ready to consume anyone who dares go in for a quick wee, and not piled up ironed or folded ready to be put away! If downstairs is tidy then upstairs most definately is not! I hate rollercoasters and theme parks and that I don't go on the rides because I'll throw up, not because I'm a big yellow chicken as I'd previously thought, but because I'm sensible!
My hair is mad and uncontrollable, and if it's sticking out all over the place it's because I value time with my kids and hubby more than anything in the world. Getting out and doing stuff is more important to me than spending forever with my GHDs (although I do prefer my hair straight!!) and with hair this thick and unruly I'd be quite some time!!!
I love spending time with small people, they are frank, honest and kind, and far more forgiving than most adults I know. I hate confrontation and will often do what is expected of me and chunter about it rather than do anything about it. I'm often erratic....very focussed and task orientated one week and then can't string a sentence together or find 2 matching shoes the next! I care to the extreme about what people think about me, and spend stupid amounts of time going over what I've said and worrying that I've said the wrong thing.
I could go on but I won't!!! Hoorah I hear you cry!
So what's freeing about that? Well I've accepted it all...it's me and life is just too short to keep trying to be something I'm not. It hasn't happened overnight, but I'm me and that's just fine .....
I have the best job I've ever had, I love it and ok it's not forever, but maybe that's why I'm determined to enjoy every moment, and help every child I can. My boys are amazing, frustratingly messy (like their mum!), they are complete mud magnets full of noise, joy and hormones. Miniest Munt is determined to keep up with his big brothers (I may have to fit him with a crash helmet!) and is such a bundle of blonde blue eyed joy. My hubby is a star, and yes he drives me to distraction at times- i'm sure I return the favour!!!!!!! , but he loves us and is prepared to put put the bins without being asked, and rod the drains!!!!A true man! My Mum and Pops are the best and I love and admire them more than they know (well they might have an inkling now!) And I have the best friends anyone could wish to have.
So yes there are many things that pee me off, I still try and do too many things at once, get stressy when my mum's on her way cos the house is a tip, worry I've said the wrong thing, and have extremely wayward hair,
but that's me and I'm happy!:)
Now, without going into too much boring detail to the whys and where fors, it came to me that accepting what I am (round and messy!!!!!) has enabled me to see what is and isn't important, and that's been soooo freeing. I've been so busy looking at the best bits of everyone else and comparing them with the worst bits of me that I haven't left time to enjoy living. What a first class idiot!!!
So yes, my house is 'lived in' with some areas that look like the back room of a charity shop. And yes, my fridge looked like it had been used for a scientific experiment until yesterday! If my stairs are clear, it's because the washing is stuffed in the utility room, ready to consume anyone who dares go in for a quick wee, and not piled up ironed or folded ready to be put away! If downstairs is tidy then upstairs most definately is not! I hate rollercoasters and theme parks and that I don't go on the rides because I'll throw up, not because I'm a big yellow chicken as I'd previously thought, but because I'm sensible!
My hair is mad and uncontrollable, and if it's sticking out all over the place it's because I value time with my kids and hubby more than anything in the world. Getting out and doing stuff is more important to me than spending forever with my GHDs (although I do prefer my hair straight!!) and with hair this thick and unruly I'd be quite some time!!!
I love spending time with small people, they are frank, honest and kind, and far more forgiving than most adults I know. I hate confrontation and will often do what is expected of me and chunter about it rather than do anything about it. I'm often erratic....very focussed and task orientated one week and then can't string a sentence together or find 2 matching shoes the next! I care to the extreme about what people think about me, and spend stupid amounts of time going over what I've said and worrying that I've said the wrong thing.
I could go on but I won't!!! Hoorah I hear you cry!
So what's freeing about that? Well I've accepted it all...it's me and life is just too short to keep trying to be something I'm not. It hasn't happened overnight, but I'm me and that's just fine .....
I have the best job I've ever had, I love it and ok it's not forever, but maybe that's why I'm determined to enjoy every moment, and help every child I can. My boys are amazing, frustratingly messy (like their mum!), they are complete mud magnets full of noise, joy and hormones. Miniest Munt is determined to keep up with his big brothers (I may have to fit him with a crash helmet!) and is such a bundle of blonde blue eyed joy. My hubby is a star, and yes he drives me to distraction at times- i'm sure I return the favour!!!!!!! , but he loves us and is prepared to put put the bins without being asked, and rod the drains!!!!A true man! My Mum and Pops are the best and I love and admire them more than they know (well they might have an inkling now!) And I have the best friends anyone could wish to have.
So yes there are many things that pee me off, I still try and do too many things at once, get stressy when my mum's on her way cos the house is a tip, worry I've said the wrong thing, and have extremely wayward hair,
but that's me and I'm happy!:)
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